Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
