Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
