"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
