I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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