Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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