I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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