i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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