he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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