there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
