We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
