I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
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