told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
