HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Two words: blizzard sex
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
