its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
