Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
