We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The best revenge is premature balding
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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