We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
