He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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