yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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