Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
