If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
