I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
