I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
