while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
