I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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