Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
