Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
