you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
