I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
