ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
