I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
