what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
