She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
