I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Congratulations! We have a period
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