No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
