I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
