Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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