no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
