Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
