if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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