whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
