The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want to fling myself into the sun
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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