yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
