i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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