I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
