Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
