I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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