My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
