a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
