well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
