How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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