Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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