Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize