i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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