I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
