We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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