My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Found the puke drawer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize