dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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